Kathy Ann Coll
“It was painful to discover that my
Catholic Church does
not recognize adult survivors as ‘victims.’”
Awake: Q. Kathy, I’m so glad that you’re ready to share your story with our community. Thank you for being open to this. What would you like to tell us about yourself?
Kathy Ann Coll: As a cradle Catholic, growing up in Rochester, New York, in a family of seven siblings, my mom and dad created a deep sense for me of a loving God, a life of service, and a strong sense of family, all of which I still value today. I knew from the time I was three that I wanted to be a teacher, and this choice led me to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, where I studied English Literature, French, and drama to become a high school teacher in an outstanding suburban school district. Another great interest inherited from my family was the outdoors and camping, and I met my future husband, who was a mountain climber. Together we started a business called High Adventure and traveled all around the U.S. teaching skills such as climbing, whitewater rafting, and spelunking to groups of girls over the summer. My two sons were involved from the time they were infants and became an active part of the program growing up.
Q. What a neat business, Kathy. I know you love to travel and be outdoors, and now I understand why. If I could change topics, what would you be willing to share about the abuse you experienced?
A. My heart was always open to my Church. I loved singing in parish choirs, teaching CCD, facilitating Bible studies, recruiting and training parishioners to become Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion, fundraising, working festivals and fish fries, and being appointed to diocese committees by my pastor. So, when I was asked to help drive a new priest from Nigeria, who was assigned to our parish, to university a few days a week, I said yes. That was the beginning of my grooming, which lasted until my rape in December 2016 in my home. The only words in my head were, “This is my priest. How could he do this to me?”
Q. Kathy, I’m so, so sorry that this happened to you. This was a violation on so many levels, including a violation of your love for the Church. If you had to pinpoint the parts of your journey that have been especially challenging since then, what would you choose?
A. I’ve been a victim-survivor for seven years, a time of much sadness, anger, and embarrassment. This period has been an opportunity to learn about PTSD, trauma, and many other terms that I’ve learned through research and any source of help I could find. My life changed when I found Awake. I became involved in many of their programs from Survivor Circles to Courageous Conversations, to special prayer opportunities, and now I am a member of the Awake Board of Directors.
But what I want to share next is so important. It was painful to discover that my Catholic Church does not recognize adult survivors as “victims.” It’s a muddy point, because in my diocese I am considered a “vulnerable adult.” I do not accept that classification. I am a capable adult (no deficits physically or mentally) who was abused by a priest who took a vow of chastity. The Church needs to accept that all adults can be harmed by clergy and other faith leaders. We need to be talking about this, constantly reminding bishops, the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), and Pope Francis about the reality of this problem.
Q. Kathy, is there anything else that you’ve learned through this difficult journey that you would want Catholics to know?
A. Well, another topic very close to my heart is the vetting process for priests and other clergy who enter the U.S. to serve in parishes in our communities. First, I need to say that I do not have anything against priests from foreign countries if they pass a true vetting process with actual proof that they are fit for ministry. But there is no universal vetting process for priests from foreign countries. This process is decided specifically by the local bishop. My perpetrator was accepted by the university he was attending, which then sent a letter to my bishop asking for room and board in a parish in the diocese. My bishop asked for a letter from his bishop. What he received in return was a checklist of items—a checklist!—checked off by the bishop in Nigeria and then signed. There wasn’t a single supporting document. No letters of recommendation or introduction, no Zoom interview, nothing. He came over here and was immediately put into my parish. He had no cultural introduction to the U.S. and our society or instruction in English, which later surfaced as problems. There was no clearance information from supervisors in his country to offer as evidence that he was fit to serve. After my assault, I called the police in his town in Nigeria and learned that he had a criminal record. This kind of checking before he was embraced by my parish might have kept me safe. Most employers in the U.S. would not hire someone with so little information.
I started calling dioceses along the Atlantic and Pacific coasts, locations where many priests are coming into our country to serve in Catholic parishes and found not one diocese that had a vetting process for priests from foreign countries. After some digging, I learned that my legal case was the first one dealing with how my perpetrator was vetted before being admitted to this country for ministry. How many other victims exist because of a poor vetting process?
Q. Thank you for shedding light on this problem, and for your efforts to try to keep others safe. In this long, difficult journey, what has given you hope, Kathy?
A. I have been able to meet with the two bishops in my diocese. I was greeted with open arms, respect, and an eagerness to work with me on this problem. I found out that there are two types of visiting priests who come to the states. The first type are priests who are studying at universities to complete degrees. The problem is that most candidates cannot afford to live on campus and need to live in parishes. The second group are foreign priests who sign a contract with a diocese for a limited time (say, 3 to 5 years) for a certain salary. Again, there is very little vetting of these men.
So where does my hope come in? As a result of my case, my bishop has decided to not allow any more priests attending university to become a part of our diocese. They need to find their own housing, as any other college student does.
The need for priests from other countries is rising, so a new vetting process is needed. Based on my experience, I outlined a plan for what needs to happen before a priest can apply for a position in a U.S. diocese, as well as an application process and a cultural experience component that aids priests upon arrival. I’d like parish members to provide mentoring and help introduce the new priest to the parish. My plan is being used as the basis in a few dioceses that are starting to address this problem. This is just a start. I hope to take my plan to other dioceses and even the USCCB to encourage them to adopt universal vetting of all foreign priests. If you’d like information about my proposals, you can contact Sara Larson at Awake to learn more.
Q. Kathy, thank you for sharing this painful experience and for describing what you’ve learned along the way. We’re honored to learn from you and wish you continued healing. Are there any additional thoughts that you would like to share as we close?
A. I would encourage Catholics to ask questions, and to find out what process is being used to vet foreign priests in their dioceses. I’d like us all to recognize this problem and to work to prevent more harm in the future. I would also encourage people to get involved in Awake. We need volunteers and people who support change in the policies that victim-survivors face.
—Interview by Erin O’Donnell
Note from Awake: We extend heartfelt thanks to Kathy for sharing her story. We also want to acknowledge that every survivor’s path is different. We honor the journeys of all who have experienced sexual abuse by Catholic leaders and are committed to bringing you their stories. In addition to Kathy’s story, we encourage you to read our previous Survivor Stories here.
If you have experienced sexual abuse, you can receive support through the National Sexual Abuse Hotline, 800-656-4673, which operates 24 hours a day. If you seek support from the Catholic Church, you can find the contact information for your diocesan victim assistance coordinator here. Also, Awake is always open to listening to and learning from survivors. If you would like to connect with us, we invite you to email Survivor Care Coordinator Esther Harber at estherharber@awakecommunity.org.
