Survivor Stories

“I sometimes feel imposter syndrome when talking to fellow survivors; my story is very mild compared to most of the stories I've heard from others.”

"Speaking out has allowed me to grow as a man, father, and spouse...I finally feel that I can look at myself in the mirror and like who I see."

“Hearing stories like mine from other survivors has helped me to recognize and heal from the wound of shame.”  

“It has taken me more than a decade to find the words that have become my abuse story and I feel very … afraid to share. The only reason I share it now is that I do not want anyone to have to endure the shame and isolation I felt as I searched … for an explanation of what happened to me.”

"Some people ask, “Are you going to be a victim forever?” The answer is complicated. I’m a victim, survivor, and thriver. The wounds are deep and will never go away, just like Jesus’ wounds didn’t go away after he was resurrected."

“I find it extremely necessary to share my stories with as many practicing Catholics as I can.”

“One person can make a huge difference in someone’s life just by speaking up.”

“It was painful to discover that my Catholic Church does not recognize adult survivors as ‘victims.’ ”

“I decided to share my story because it’s not the typical story you hear about abuse in the Church.”

“I believe in the power of storytelling as a means for people to feel validated, to feel heard, and it’s been a big part of my own healing.”

“It’s a surprise that opening up about being a survivor has allowed me to love my family, friends, and community more deeply and to be loved more fully.”

“If I was the only victim I don’t think I could keep going. But I think of someone else’s story and that keeps me motivated.”

“I want other female survivors of adult abuse to know that they are not alone. I believe that knowing that I wasn’t alone in this type of abuse helped my healing process.”

“When one victim-survivor can extend the hand of compassion and kindness to another, even when struggling with their own pain, that is grace to me.”

“[S]ometimes my relationship with the Church feels like a strained marriage… I absolutely do not want a divorce; I want healing in the most precious relationship I have.”

“My wish is to help the laity understand that abuse victims are not some delicate flowers that can’t handle life because of the abuse. We are valuable members of society and … we deserve the chance to be heard.”

“If my story helps just one person realize the danger of clericalism and abuse of power, it’s worth it to me.”

“To be able to share my story, which I kept secret for over 30 years, and still feel safe and loved was such a profound experience.”

“That profound understanding that I am not alone takes a great deal of the shame away. ”

“Years of therapy and support groups have shown me that to heal I must talk about the abuse.”

“The greatest challenge I have had to endure as a survivor is shame. Because others forced me to keep silent about the abuse, I thought I was the one at fault, that I had done something wrong.”

“One of the most helpful things is working with a trauma therapist who has helped me understand why childhood trauma is so very difficult to uncover.”

“Pope Francis says that the Church needs to be a ‘field hospital’ for the marginalized. I believe that we survivors of trauma have roles to play as doctors and nurses for the field hospital.”

“Writing has been a catalyst to health. As a child I didn’t have language for what was happening to me.”