Survivors Share 6 Myths About Abuse in the Church
What do people in the Catholic Church and the broader public typically get wrong about sexual abuse by Church leaders?
Earlier this year, we posed this question to people in the Awake community who have experienced sexual abuse in the Church, asking them which myths they hear most. A group of 37 survivors responded, and below are the top six myths and misconceptions they shared. Some respondents asked to remain anonymous, while others gave us permission to share their first names alongside their thoughts.
Recognizing these myths for what they are can help all of us respond to survivors in compassionate, supportive ways that aid their healing instead of contributing to their wounds.
Myth #1: Sexual abuse in the Church is a problem of the past.
Survivors from the Awake community shared the most common myths they hear about Church abuse.
When state attorneys general release headline-grabbing reports about abuse investigations or dioceses announce settlements with people who have been abused, it’s tempting to believe that the Catholic Church has fully reckoned with this harm, and declare the problem solved. Unfortunately, Awake continues to hear from victim-survivors who have experienced recent sexual abuse.
And here’s another important reality: even people who were abused decades ago can live with current, daily pain, including PTSD, intrusive thoughts and memories, addictions, and other mental health concerns. “The biggest myth I confront is a view or sense that ‘this is over’ and ‘we've moved on’ both as a Church and in secular society,” wrote one Awake survivor who asked to remain anonymous. “For many of us, it is not at all over. Even with therapy and resources like Awake, these events transcend space and time.”
“Survivors are often in the pews next to you,” survivor Timothy shared, “or they no longer come to Mass because they don't feel safe to be there in the midst of … attitudes … that the abuse crisis was a long time ago or not a big deal.”
Myth #2: Sexual abuse in the Catholic Church only happens to children and teens.
The 2002 Boston Globe Spotlight series brought necessary attention to the devastating problem of sexual abuse of children and teens in the Catholic Church. Since then, it has also become clear that many adult women and men have experienced abuse in the Church. Consider the high-profile cases of the late former cardinal Theodore McCarrick, who was credibly accused of the sexual harassment and abuse of adult seminarians, and mosaic artist Marko Rupnik, a former Jesuit accused of abusing roughly 20 religious women.
Many survivors in the Awake community have shared personal stories of similar harm. And they report that it hurts when Catholics describe the abuse crisis as only involving “minors” or when people assume that all sexual activity involving two adults must be consensual. “Just because a survivor was not a very young child does not mean that what happened was not abuse,” Amy stressed.
Myth #3: Any sexual relationship between a priest and an adult is an “affair.”
Multiple Awake survivors objected to the habit of referring to relationships between priests and Catholic adults as “affairs” or describing such situations as a lapse in judgement.
“When a priest uses his authority to groom an adult man or woman for sex, it’s abuse,” one anonymous person explained. “It’s not an affair.”
Researchers note that priests and other religious leaders can hold outsized power in relationships with parishioners or other people of faith who look to them for spiritual guidance. This unequal relationship makes true consent impossible. Survivors of abuse often report that the perpetrator used spiritual language in the course of the abuse, or suggested that the sexual activity was holy or endorsed by God.
“Calling it an affair portrays the victim as a willing participant,” Emily explained in Awake’s survey, “when in reality, they are a victim of spiritual manipulation and coercion.”
Myth #4: Church abuse is perpetrated solely by priests.
No two cases of abuse in the Catholic Church look the same. While the majority of survivors in the Awake community report abuse by priests, there are many others who have been harmed by other Catholic leaders. “It’s not only the priests, not only the men,” Alexandra explained.
Perpetrators may include deacons, religious sisters, lay ministers, and Catholic school teachers. It’s important to avoid dismissing stories of harm by people who are not priests.
Myth #5: Sexual abuse is the fault of “other” Catholics.
Given current ideological divides in both the Catholic Church and the United States, it can be tempting to blame the problem of sexual abuse on people who approach their faith differently than we do. Some Catholics suggest that abuse is the result of older priests with liberal views, while others fear that the conservative approach of younger generations will promote clericalism that enables abuse and cover-up. But a second victim-survivor named Emily warned against this thinking. “It's not just the ‘other side’ that does it,” she said. “Abusive spiritual leaders exist on both sides of the ideological/political divide.”
Myth #6: The abuse crisis is the result of a few bad actors.
Awake sometimes refers to the “twin crises” of abuse and institutional betrayal. Not only have adults and children been harmed by individuals in the Catholic Church, but Church leaders have often responded by protecting abusers and the institutional Church. They have treated victim-survivors as enemies of the Church, with contempt instead of pastoral care.
“People often misunderstand that abuse in the Church isn’t just about individual perpetrators but involves systemic failures that enabled it and betrayed survivors’ trust,” said Faith, a survivor. Leaders also “overlook the profound spiritual and emotional impact on survivors, focusing instead on protecting the Church’s reputation or on quick fixes,” she added.
For example, survivors often tell us that they have been unable to obtain information about the canonical investigation of their abuse cases. Others describe being re-traumatized when reporting their abuse or feeling that many church leaders are interested in keeping the truth quiet. “Many survivors face an uphill battle to be heard, or to find compassion, much less restorative justice,” says Sue, another survivor in the Awake community.
We continue to hope that speaking openly about the problem of sexual abuse and centering the stories of survivors will help to promote increased transparency, compassion, and safety in the Catholic Church.
—Erin O’Donnell, Editor
Awake is a community that strives to be compassionate, survivor-centered, faithful, welcoming, humble, courageous, and hopeful. We thank you for choosing your words with care when commenting, and we reserve the right to remove comments that are inappropriate or hurtful.
